UPDATES HAVE BEEN MADE A first first draft; the start of a long interview

Her first interview ; where I disbelieved from the Beginning

I WILL BE ADDING AND EDITING DAILY

The interview; draft one

This will all be put in present tense. And hasn’t begun to touch the surface of where when what who and why

In short; why of all people would you be a liability or target for such extensive conduct on behalf of the entities you allege; I begin with rather a difficult one. I admit

I am a liability to the federal government and the state in the effect of the violations of my rights during a warrantless search and seizure in 2011. They suspected me of a form of domestic terrorism as well as were threatened by exposure of their conduct as they-noted i was looking up ‘hot sites’, or those websites the feds key in on should one be more pervasively inquisitive about the nature of their content. I am. And was. As they expose the actuality of the government not it’s fraudulent cover. Still, I believe it was more the words I was stating then and the fact I made and still make information public that kept me safe yet stoked the fires. They were going for me anyway…their indiscretions—; far too many of them… For me Not to be a liability. Should I choose to report id be heard. If I wasn’t a criminal. Defamed or done. Dead. By ‘accident’ of course. They had to ensure my word would be rendered useless. and my person incompetent. Over the years… The number of districts that became involved etc…either way, what followed was more horrific acts, not excluding solicited attempted murder. The last you’d expect from our government acting against one shown innocent after their thirteen-day sweep. As I WAS. As glorious as this sounds, it happens in this country every day to people like myself who are then stigmatized as who the Hell would believe them? I wasn’t

I can also respond like such, many different ways to explain what happened and do. I’m so used to relegating myself…

What made me such a liability? Was ongoing, pervasive criminality against me and by whom. Systematically they went about every avenue possible to destabilize them criminalize me. When a false arrest and incarceration was officially marked, their next act exceeded this last one by nearly again succeeding in taking my life, again by the car accident. The false incarnation, inducing after all the misconduct and shock and an HR OF 38 /which made me a liability should they transfer me, so they instead released me: each time God's grace. The one honest officer at the scene of 2015 said I had less than a 1% chance of surviving and only did because I lacked the instinct to react. I was and had been in shock for nearly six years at that lokmy? Untreated die to the falsified reported and lies about my person. Essentially what I can prove they did that puts me at a disadvantage because it doesn't mean I intended to. But now? Due to their actions? I HAVE TO

This will be an extension of the Interview though i do not know where it will go zzz

So, moving on from the broader picture. For a moment as I know you’ll go back and we need more clarification. A lot…

But aside from that…Where are you now? And how does it, if at all, relate to the past.

I had thought I was to move on from that. I fully intended to until the annulment comes up. I had survived the systematic process used on civilians like me and remained Free, alive, but to then be credible as well? That is too threatening. And they began what ill refer to and felt like, digging into me, my computer, and life in all ways, shapes and forms that in combination in no way could be denied. It was targeting. And it was happening again.

When it became undeniably clear was this past month when I was cut off from all medical services at DHMC, given three different reasons, and called by my neurologist five times in an attempt to warn me of what she in no way wanted herself to happen. So that right there knocked out two of the wrong reasons. So much of what I’ve been told are outright lies, while I’m made out not to be credible and affect the most? Is my health care.

So, what you are telling me is that the misconduct harassment and abuse is Still happening?

Most certainly. And most especially after I was asked to be on the KC Armstrong show. I will post a link to one of the six interviews, and I plan to do a few more in the future if not develop mine more fully. So much of my energy has been focused on my health. Each time I go in for a particular procedure, it seems I'm diagnosed with something else. So as opposed to going out into the world, clear of those horrific malicious charges and able to work, my body caught up with the onslaught of my mind. It was told several times I had been in ongoing shock. It had drastically affected my organs, including my heart, but Exeter. However, one was honorable enough, to be honest with me in person> would not repeat these things. When I brought his comments up with patient relations, I received a seven-page letter saying Different reasons. Hospitals and other establishments will never be hells accountable. 

Second or third interview with Armstrong

Was anyone you were acquainted with or knew involved in this….debacle

Continue reading “UPDATES HAVE BEEN MADE A first first draft; the start of a long interview”

Does not hurt to know if

I’d like to build a page dedicated to what I was since I can recall. Higher consciousness.

I’ve been interested in it perhaps because I know 97% of actuality is far more interesting than what the senses can tell us and I’m not one for gluttony (hey I’ve got plenty of other issues but that’s not all of them) so…. and the fact we know only 3% of reality as Einstein proved… the other 97% hidden , unseen . But there nonetheless. There for us only to hope and dream, fear and loathe. But what I do know is what we believe ends up happening and when you appeal to the compassion in others and only that, no anger in your energy, your life perhaps on the line, (you are willing to let it ALL go trust me) ; that is when you know you CAN fulfill your destiny you regardless of circumstances change or not literally or hypothetically… but if you know the secret you must tread very carefully and always with the awareness that you are led and not to lead, otherwise your life will be one big self for filling prophecy and which you wander in circles never fulfilling your destiny…, If we claim ourselves God psychiatrist and therapist the most susceptible in doing so losing themselves completely to the profession and labeling others to the extent they believe they are exempt from human flaw themselves, in many ways making them pathological, so please tread very carefully , most especially around the seemingly charismatic ones because often and more often than not there are wolves in sheep’s clothing malignant and parasitic beneath their wool clothing… make it too hot in there for a make it uncomfortable… and ALWAYS be mindful the journey isn’t yours but one on which you are led. If you try and take over the consequences will once again present themselves.

as Jesus taught, though no one seem to pick up on this lesson, there are those who do not know better and then there are those who do. Acting out of ignorance is far different than deliberation. That is why those who whipped him Rall he continually said forgive those who know not what they do while his own disciples he condemned to hell.

Does anyone else not see the irony of that or is what t clear and I’m out date…: so the Ignorant (at least in this life tome)  are forgiven on behalf of their ignorance but yet those that do and do wrong despite this are condemned as Jesus condemned his own disciples to hell. . The The lesson is clear the more you are aware in the liver it in wrongful actions the more you will be condemned to hell. Or at the very least not given the gifts of those who knew no motivations other then those which came from compassion love forgiveness and God forgives trespasses in the name of human flaw but not evil transgressions and the name of in morality and in his own name claiming to be him and taking another’s life in one way or another . Please see this PIN. It’s a great link

(Also in the featured photo, if you turn it YOU’LL note the devil appears several times in several sizes the largest most apparent. This was in no way a conscious move on my end. If wouldn’t be possible) you can also see several eyes … within the heads )

pin.it/17rgOvR

Anyhow please stick with me as I build this page. First one as the STAPLE page coming up;)

Please read this much cleaned up version ; To the director at DHHS;

———- Forwarded message ———
From: Julie Assmus <onedayatatime9586@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Dec 26, 2020 at 1:48 PM
Subject: I received a survey I declined to fill out for many reasons
To: Swenson, Kerri <kerri.swenson@dhhs.nh.gov>

Hello
I urge to read this as it is truly frightening whay doing some thing of a good thing faith can lead to
I am concerned about the survey I received from DHHS for several reasons…As anyone should be. I believe it’s an agent for targeting for several reasons… and quite frankly, BEYOND A reasonable double as there is NO OTHER logical way to explain the inconsistencies. Is the Entrapment? Do you send these surveys to everyone?

So for many reasons, please see form! It appears deceptive

For example,If it was not you would not specify that the person NOT STATE THEIR NAME and yet have them enter a specific identity number that tells you what it js

What sense is that?
It’s deceptive in that again, it says to NOT state it will be anonymous and yet asks you enter a specific ID NUMBER. So there is no anonymity yet states specifically there is. That is a violation of basic rights of the ADA for the disabled who have a harder time comprehending what they are signing.

And what Are Those who solely determines the fate of someone and what freedoms to take away based on a well meaning answer or someone else’s health survey based upon their subjective experience)? So there is essentially some UNKNOWN person or entity or group that believes they have such authority (frightening) . So WHO has complete authority to do what you willMeaning anyone who fills out this survey, taking the time, FOR YOU ALL, for it only to be used as a tool to control ANYONE who fills it inS and who is it that ultimately makes these determinations?I apologize but that is outright frightening As is the fact the more people become dependent on government as is the goal , the more control. Whether it’s a need for a pill or financial assistance , well now would be the time to weed out the one who are aware of what the over architecture of the strategy may be, but those who are conscience of it, like me, after being violated as I was (see below) are quite horrified to read in fine print the that filling out a survey good FAITH could easily lead to detention or any violations of their rights
If one was some threat I do not think they would be filling out a health survey.

Also , WHOM DO YOU SEND THESE TO?. That will hold a large clue as to intention. The more the better for you. If I was one of few the intention will align with what YOUVE already been up to. Perhaps I feel wrongly in that I was and AM SOMEONE the state would love to find ANY reason to … silence ME as they did AND SEVERAL TIMES ATTEMPTED. And you collaborate. I’ll forward my concerns to the attorney general. Thank reserve to feel safe in lack of having done ANYTHING WEINGz No more. E fucking NuffX got it!?

Btw; the solicited attempted on my life was reporters j fill tI the att meet general team night befornteinfakse charges only for them to be dropped. Then suddenly my attorney of 8 years whom I trusted #Susan Lowry, asked me to plead the opposite of what I’d said tthat prawcuors the nights before. She collaborated as well… I was again, betrayed. Never before 2011 did I feel this way. For good reason. I never was… lied to manipulated, betrayed. Never.

^** blue covers blue. Doctors covers doctors.‘attorneys cover attorneys. That is JUST HOW IT GOES… is that it? Because that’s the truth as is the fact that it is routine that prosecutors introduce false evidence in order to convict completely innocent people to cover their ass

I would LOVE Nothing more than for everyone to know the truth rather than the falsity of what I’ve been through. If so people would hold the respect that the attorney general state and my attorney held for me

But BACK TO THE SURVEY…

I apologize for being so upfront but I have no reason not to be A deserve to be heard after knowing first hand the rights they go to cover their. I’m federally disabled, TBI, severely anemic, kidney and liver damage, spinal chord damage, severe temporal lobe epilepsy and I was diagnosed until SEVEN YEARS after the fact before the officer #Goatd had lied on the repoer (won’t get into why here) that after being crippled and disabled by state misconduct due to their having violated my human rights in a search and seizure, wrong as they had been certain… that was ij 2011 and it still continue… most recent

My having to report to the attorney general THE NIGHT BEFORE before two false charge about the 2015 solicit attempt on my life I’ve pretty much had it and I know what the feds pay state employees to white wash liabilities like me.Or get off whatever misconduct charges they are liable forNo one who works within the system would deny (if honest) that blue covers blue, doctors cover doctors and lawyers cover lawyers and so and and so forth. From unneeded wars based on heritage alone, To crips killing for Crips and the bloods killing for bloods. It seems no matter the intelligence everyone does the same m, covers for their pack, instead of perhaps, step out and do what is right , even if it’s their job. and I suppose that is where my confusion lies. I don’t lies: and even though people hate me because I say WHAT IS? I Do what is RIGHT

Aren’t we all.I write this because of my experience ever since the feds and stave were liable and instea did take accountability they continued to disabled me

I do not make the following statements as a victim but out of fact. All in effect if state misconduct, deliberate, planned as well as subsequent ongoing negligence with the collaborating hospitals. IN effect I have severe at temporal lobe epilepsy severe TBI post concussion syndrome from the second accident neither was my fault and both are in effective state misconduct I have a lesion on my liver I have cardiac issues I have severe anemia and I have to get an endoscopy because they believe I have kidney problems they said my health issues are due to ongoing stress and negligence because I couldn’t get medical treatment because no one believed meSo I won’t be filling out a survey I couldn’t nine anyway take any more away from me because already so much is like my ability to think remember enjoy sleep or be in any way my brain is 85 so my organs in my heart I don’t have much longer I was blacklisted due to my having to make multiple trips to the ER in effect of untreated medical conditions.

Instead h was easy time treated like an addict and just using nothing …as many who are labeled are (would you like the links to the articles ) because I was labeled as opposed to have my medical conditions properly diagnosed because no one believed what happened to me. So I suppose if I were to fill out a survey and say the truth you could think certain things that could have me in a very unsavory situation that would be beyond detrimental considering I’m suddenly disabled and affect of federal misconduct on behalf of the state and Exeter Hospital already . In 2017, 6 years after an accident the DHMC. Neurologist said should have taken my life from brain death…the MRI was finally done at DHMC m. But instead it’s beauty was atrophied to that of an 85-year-old and that I should have died from brain death at night in it the jail cell in 2011.

No one helped me but if I told you that you could in for I was delusional paranoid and crazy so you see the issue.So no survey for me; i hold four boxes of original reports that were not redacted or falsified because well I have them to evidence every statement I makeI apologize for coming across this defensive but again it just seems a form of entrapment if you will ** (see below for details is need be)So what I write is not conspiratorial; it’s fact based to the degree I stated every exact thing that happened to me to the attorney general before two false charges only for them to be dropped the next day; also I called prosecution and told them exactly what I would say pointing the judge in the direction of investigating what happened in 2015 and that thoroughly dissuaded them from moving forward with false charges; makes sense ; it’s why I the truth to whom I needed to; I had NOTHING TO lose; they? did.*** (And after they dropped them my attorney Susan Lowry tried to get me to plead the opposite of what I had stated several times to prosecution in my messages former which would have given me a phony perjury and made not look the one who was credible and told the truth as I have and have no illegalities to hide? They? Solicited attempted on my life directly subsequent to what a judge her self ruled a false incarceration the year before they having direct motive to silence me given I was a liability because they had violated my human rights and 2011 and then effect of an unwarranted federal investigation in which they thought I was on some form of governmental assistance and I was not; I was held against my will for 11 days and they found nothing in my person on my person or in my place because there was nothing there nor would be or have been) it is fact and it is deceptive because the ID number easily gets away exactly who is filling out the report otherwise you could not report them and take away any of their freedoms based on an answer and the decision that some fallible human being made that makes no sense it is a tool for targetingThank youJulie Assmus
** *** (And after they dropped them my attorney Susan Lowry tried to get me to plead the opposite of what I had stated several times to prosecution in my messages former which would have given me a phony perjury and made not look the one who was credible and told the truth as I have and have no illegalities to hide? They? Solicited attempted hit on my life directly subsequent to what a judge her self ruled a false incarceration the year before they having direct motive to silence me. I was a liability end it is well known within the state and federal government that the feds paid the state employees big books to white wash liabilities like me because they had violated my human rights and 2011 and then effect of an unwarranted federal investigation in which they thought I was engaging in some federal crime I had no association with as well was on some form of governmental assistance and I was not; I was held against my will for 11 days and they found nothing in my person on my person or in my place because there was nothing there nor would be or have been) .


Julie Assmus. P.I.

Step 7: Review – Contact the Civil Rights Division | Department of Justice

NOW THERE IS A SLEW OF HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS THAT IVE BEEN SUBJECTED TO. But becoming disabled primarily in effect of what happened that night in 2011? And now that evidenced beyond a reasonable doubt? That is difficult NOT TO TO BACK

REAAON I DIDNT FILE BEFORE IS BECAUSE EVERY TIME I DID I WAS THREATENED

AS WELL AS THE FACT I DIDNT OBTAIN THE MEDICAL EVIDENCE UNTIL I WAS FINALLY TAKEN SERIOUS

AFTER THE MRI, i was. But by then it was far too late

All because of his actions and falsifying the report

#OFFICER GOARD

Step 7: Review – Contact the Civil Rights Division | Department of Justice
— Read on civilrights.justice.gov/report/

This is my complaint

It asked

WHAT HAPPENED

I WROTE

This was the night I literally (by DHMC neurologists atteststion, evidence, MRIs, etc) became federally disabled becaus I never got treatment that night because the officer was very intent on getting me transfer it to Federal because he had been solicited and put up a $2000 bail for a misdemeanor. I wasn’t diagnosed until seven years later because he lied on the report in order for me not to be admitted into ICU and I was told that I had severe atrophy that I should’ve died that night and have an tractable temporal up epilepsy and other major damage and due to that and then neglect I am severely fairly disabled end it is in effect of the severe human rights that night with the bail set far too high for the charge is a legal contact been solicited and my severe condition. I cried out for help and was laughed at…also the fact that the officer lied on the report, said I crashed at 18 as opposed to 47mph straight into a ditch)I have the report IF they say they did NOT happen? I have a the original report. They may have falsified, redacted or in some other way gotten rid of anything linking them to the feds. For the next nine years I had to outsmart and treatments and the more outsmart them within four counties the more of a liability I became and then I was falsely incarcerated in 2014 and then in 2015 there was an attempted hit on my life that I can without any hardship evidence to a judge beyond a reasonable doubt no issue and they know this alongside the fact that I am finally credible with a record full of false charges finally I’m not having been put before an unbiased judge after prosecutor for five years, threatened by the state, despite the the charges weren’t even filed in the goddamn first place… and it took

Ofer my life. No one believed me and I was never Safe and now it continues because now they are trying to get me for intent for what they suspected me of because they violated my human rights three weeks prior to this officer having been solicited and that’s why he was because if he could get me for a federal drug charge then they could get me for intent on what I was suspect it up and they could be off the hook for the severe human rights violations three weeks prior also with the law that if someone has committed in affect of their actions then a police officer by law cannot chase that person. I know that having been put before an unbiased judge after prosecutor for five years after prosecutor were threatened by the state every time despite the fact we could prove the charges weren’t even filed in the goddamn first place. Anyhow, I would like justice if only for the sake of stopping their attempts to again falsely incriminate and could not file former because every time I attempted I was threatened.

A letter from Verizon evidencing the accounts being hacked. I knew it the day IT BEGAN. Just received this today

If I were wrong in these things I would not be free alive or credible

PERIOD

Also is the fact that I’m FUCKED. Except I did notify the attorney general my suspicions, whom I informed of them, for how long; wby I have them and given he Has stepped in before (he signs off on search and seizures I do believe) is and would he the prosecutor on any case against say, a Brain Ayotte, who was complicit with the state, the man will be prosecuted as he should have been. The 2015 incident was No accident but a DELIBERATE PREMEDITATED ATTEMPT ON MY LIFE OB BEHALF OF THE STATE. This can be evidenced

So what do they need? SIX MONTHS OF ALLEDGED HISOTRY TYING ME TO EVENTS AND NEWS ASSOCIATING ME WITH THE CRIMIBAL ACTIVITY I HAVE NO ASSOCIATION WITH. If I did? They would have simply used the history within my own system as oppose to ALLEGE TO BE MY PERSON.

This together with the charges in OH FOR TEN FELONY COUNTS of deception to o gain for calling in to rite aid out of desperation for ten VALIUM PILLS. Once. They counted all ten times it was legitimately called in? Against me

I have a psychiatrist and very credible friend who can directly attest to these facts.

As I can EASILY EXPLAIN EXACTLY WHY THERR MAY HAVE BEEN PROFILE CREATED FOR REASONS THAT WERE THE ANTITHESIS OF DISTRIBUTION. Perhaps it was a safe way to obtain small amounts of what ten years later is repeatedly showing promise of Exactly WHAT I WAS RESEARCHING IT FOR. Enlightenment, empathy expansion and knowledge

My actual search histories show my true intention And the one from 2011 will be SHOWN. I want them to see everything? Because there is nothing to see. Nothing criminal at least

King and short

Should a judge who knows not these details see

The ten charges

The ‘ evidence’ from 2011 together with 6 months of search history thing my time smuggling and other sordid activity? Even I would say THATS OKENTY TO SAY SHE HAD INTENT TO DO EXACTLY WHAT IT HERE SAYS

DID THEY EVER CONSIDER JUST ASKING

IMAGINE THE TROUBLE IT WOULD HAVE SPARED THEM ? Geez

Ive informer my attorney, the attorney general

Next step up here given WHAT THEY ARE DOING? Forward the email to the attorney and attorney general to the DOJ so they are aware The others know as well as know themselves

Granted last time I told prosecution I’d make the statement if the irony of standing there being charged with two crimes I had no awareness occurred after no one even so much as apologized for the human rights violations and 2015 solicited attempt on my life SO IR WAS either the message to the attorney general the evening before that stopped the states parade or the fact they didn’t want to chance…

Why I have decided to make this post and file gross federal solicited attempted murder charges resulting in severe federal disabilities, against the federal and state government in the next two years

Intro;

This is not a sob story (but it’s a bit of a draft but one YOULL hang with I do hope) this is a necessity to publicize what I will so that I can feel safe as well as make it clear I won’t deal with further emotional, physical or legal betrayals and should receive compensation for the decade all the easily proven misconduct took from me. You don’t make this easy to have made it easy. Simply apologized to me and offered help akd compensation. Instead more harassment threats, false incarcerations (even ruled As such for the Offending charge to be slapped back on my record…) Why did they have to make it so difficult. They could have asked me. I do not understand the problem though I realize you aren’t the end all be all though FEDS AND STATE may certainly seem. What is it that makes you fear doing what is right and simple as I lose to having constructed this prison or lies for yourselves? Why did you choose that as o do not believe it was on your own accord. Who is pulling the strings . Need I only make this a formal complaint to the DOJ, thrice now involved? …

They’ve left me no choice in light of my recent Record annulment of charges so defaming and the antithesis of my character they were offensive for me to even mention to anybody. The only reason they’ve held off is because I have leverage and that leverage holds for two more years in which any charges can be filed not against the state as we note because it cannot be sued but against its employees especially for a solicited attempted murder as can be easily evidenced because it was a such in 2015 and it was primarily investigated exactly as such until the state intervenedEvidence what I will and this .The record my second my record is finally getting old every prosecutor having formally denied a perfectly reasonable case given their lives would be made as my attorney put it uncomfortable by the state otherwise so it was finally put before I find a bun biased judge and it was successfully and not my name clear my free alive and credible and the federal government’s worst nightmare and as many know they pay state employees big bucks to White wash liabilities like me and they won’t stop trying if they haven’t right now why should I suspect they will until I make it very The record my second my record is finally getting old every prosecutor having formally denied a perfectly reasonable case given their lives would be made as my attorney put it uncomfortable by the state otherwise so it was finally put before I find a bun biased judge and it was successfully and not my name clear my free alive and credible and the federal government’s worst nightmare and as many know they pay state employees big bucks to White wash liabilities like me and they won’t stop trying if they haven’t right now why should I suspect they will until I make it very… clear what it happening. It’s been clear my silence has done Nothing but gotten me harrassment and defamation within my social arenas at crucial times they are in desperate need of material _’thing to defame my character Zz

The record my second my record is finally getting old every prosecutor having formally denied a perfectly reasonable case given their lives would be made as my attorney put it uncomfortable by the state otherwise so it was finally put before I find a bun biased judge and it was successfully and not my name clear my free alive and credible. Given Eben more recent activity on their end o now have no reason to believe they will cease in their gtoss misconduct. And they don’t unless given good reason. They have one with me. The liability in their end is far greater than anything they could not prove on me. YOU CAN NOT PROVE A NEGATIVE false. They will not be able to ever prove what doesn’t and has it happened it’s not possible. So keep it up. All the antagonism in the world when you get you officers who have been solicited (The only ones in particularly This time, 2020!, I can think of is Wilbur and Frost but so many others were. Involved the more that became involved the more they had to hide it was a shit fest) won’t get you anywhere other than recorded and reported to the DOJ who is plenty aware of everything that is happening

they won’t stop trying if they haven’t right now why should I suspect they will until I make it very. And if I do not use it within the next two years then I do not have this statement as I believe the statutes and even such gross federal Felonies are limited. There is a sense of impending doom. I feel I want nothing but to move forward but with recent threatening activity towards me on their end and my computer and system being completely hacked

I feel I have no choice but to use the leverage I do have I do have. That of the states and federal governments solicited attempted murder in 2015 committed in behalf of Brian Ayotte from Maine hitting me at whay the lfcksds told my fiancé was abojt 95mph. He said the only reason I survived is because I looked that survival instinct and had I am anyway turned the wheel I would’ve slept without question and instead I went around and success of circles and then came to a stop on the side of the highway going back-and-forth and back-and-forth Soli pumping the brakesHe said the only reason I survived is because I looked that survival instinct and had I am anyway turned the wheel I would’ve slept without question and instead I went around and success of circles and then came to a stop on the side of the highway going back-and-forth and back-and-forth Slowly pumping the brakes.

He said the only reason I survived is because I looked that survival instinct and had I am anyway turned the wheel I would’ve slept without question and instead I went around and success of circles and then came to a stop on the side of the highway going back-and-forth and back-and-forth Soli pumping the brakesThis after only repeated documented innumerable attempts in every other way to incriminate and defame…if they had on me that whuch j babe on them end it truly was an attempt on my life and originally investigated as such???! I wok shave been arrested that day. So I suppose when the trauma is severe and there’s no one to help me get the justice because those people have lied to others I simply have not wanted to go back there but anyone in their right mind would this is a major landmark case and it would ensure I was believed even if it was a settlement onlywhen the trauma is severe and there’s no one to help me get the justice because those people have lied to others I simply have not wanted to go back there but anyone in their right mind would this is a major landmark case and it would ensure I was believed even if it was a settlement only

So WHAT leverage I DO HAVE ILL USE AS I SHOULD Have already years ago and the fact that they threaten me despite my not having done so fuck them it’s over left is rather circumstantial though I have the evidence for severe and repeated fourth eighth and ninth amendment violations over a ten year period . I do not write this for pleasure or attention but because I feel the need and feel threatened and want to just MoveOn but do not feel that’s a possibility until this is resolved I have gotten no justice and compensation for any of my injuries that the state of cost as well as the federal government and now they continue to harass and threaten. And after a decade I hage learned they won’t give up. Any would tbru. They have in exhaustible resources and I am merely an army of one they also at this time have plenty of time so why not mess with me and take a nice a little see what they can get but won’t want to so agoraphobic due to everything that’s happened it’s very difficult to get much but they have. I will not digress and go into details of the irony of that charge.. I’ll do it. Times up. If you could easily prove solicited attempted murder on my end you would’ve done it 10 years ago. Or they wouldn’t be harassing me deliberately without one reason now.

Finally my medical injuries documented. Many whuch would not have been or be if I had gotten the proper TC I asked for for YEARA but was labeled as ALL I HAD NEVER BEEN BEFORE WITH A BRAIN SEIZING, ATROPHIED AND MY SPINE IN HORRID CONDITION . I was in jail that night. That along with a bail set far too high are both constitutional rights violations

Perhaps in 2011 when the feds and state came at me without evidence, a warrant or judges signature they had assumed as I wasn’t working at the time. I was on governmental assistance. Or perhaps they didn’t care; the lead agent Gary Decker as certain as he ended up wrong. He didn’t know I saw him throw that cup against the wall in his fury as I passed back the hall from the bathroom, hands and feet cuffed, then cuffed together . Someplace in the back of Exeter Hospital there were four witnesses there that day there were witnesses in fact to everything which in effect takes away ones fourth amendment meaning wins right to unwarranted search and seizure. I will not go into the specific heat of each one and how many times and why I could say nothing until now and if I have to I will if I am threatened I will if I continue to have my computer hacked I will if I continue in anyway to be fucked with I will and I know exactly how which rights were violated when and what I need to do to file. I would appreciate the cessation of all continued recent violations upon my person which I have not felt good since 2016 . I do understand that now there is very very good reason for you to be threatened given I am credible but you will be threatened if you continue to threaten me that I assure you

I also have a very valid reason for not filing until nowspecific heat of each one and how many times and why I could say nothing until now and if I have to I will if I am threatened I will if I continue to have my computer hacked I will if I continue in anyway to be fucked with I will and I know exactly how which rights were violated when and what I need to do to file and I also have a very valid reason for not filing until now

Prosecution at Any Time
crimes.Aside from capital offenses,
crimes which Congress associated with terrorism may be
prosecuted at any time if they result in a death or serious injury or create a foreseeable risk of death or serious injury.
Although the crimes were because they are often implicated Im Threats of terosirism

My experience and all others say to me they will never cease in their attempts to incriminate, to somehow associate me with sordid drug activity . BUT THEY DO NOT HAVE YET The opportunity. I hold the leverage of not only their crimes but can enter most heinous of one’s evidence is in every element of itof not only their crimes but can enter most heinous of one’s evidence is in every element of it. I have two more years to file this case as it occurred In 2015, aboit when my brain. Had begun to heal from the first major assault and which Mikey HMC neurologist says I should have died from brain death that night I was in jail instead of I see you and the bills at the $2000 when they knew I couldn’t pay once again my right severely violated after three weeks farmer when I had been taken from my apartment that day but that’s not what I’m here to say.Had begun to heal from the first major assault and which My DHMC neurologist says I should have died from. Brain death is what I felt: it is the first time in my 32 years that I have ever prayed out loud to God.

that night I was in jail instead of I see you and the bills at the $2000 when they knew I couldn’t pay once again my right severely violated after three weeks farmer when I had been taken from my apartment that day but that’s not what I’m here to sayand infinite amount of time to file for the repeated 4th,8th and 9th amendment right information .

NOW IF The above statement WAS A TRULY HONEST AND THOROUGH One IT WOULD DEFINITELY ADD WHAT IS NEVER REPORTED selected because they are often

The systemic process that will relief them of all accountabilty should thru have been mistaken and violated the rights of the alleged omce sjspecfed yet no more upon returning home to one that has its ceiling tiles askew wires from the walls ontueky remodedD no effort to make it seem as though they had not been therrZ there was no bike hope to even consider for one night a dream. Once proven innocent, no evidence discovered within the residence person or within them, as oppose to apologies made? I like many discovered the underbelly of what they would like us to beleove is the sole reality . I have a story to tell, four boxes of krgijal non treated unfaldoeid profile reports from every incense rice the last decade. A nightmare. A slow crucifixion. Of my record then my health credibility reputation then my character. If anyone was ever curious they know where they go, online and employers will do a background check if They dont. And these were not charges of one having Done wrong but Being wrong, actiny out in a manner I wouldn’t think of perhaps due due to my autism my complete inability to see outside of me especially right now with the pain that I’m dealing. But never had I thought to follow let alone stalk anyoneX my one obsession my Hugh school teacher and when I got my license I didn’t think to even look Him up to drive by his olaceZ it wasn’t within my personX mu thinkingZ ao it was a true character slaughter. One in whuch those responsible conveyed a worst that wasn’t within me, Themselves coming our responsibility the honest honest honest one. And let me ask you this question why in gods name would I be saying all this to defend myself if what I said was.And let me ask you this question why in gods name would I be saying all this to defend myself if what I said wasAnd let me ask you this question why in gods name would I be saying all this to defend myself if what I said was not true? This feels more an obligation that a pleasure, so many topics of interest i’d prefer and preferred to delve into yet I also feel it’s important to get this out before anything could possibly happen to me… or to you. This country has ensured they’ve made room… for a leader whom will lead us not to truth but delusion. More auto mama than human we have made that easy for them to do. Try and recall your authentic self, the one pipe technology, if your birth year allows, one before everyone hid within the wires where the government has our minds wrapped around where it would like us to. IDEALISM AND DELUSION as oppose to some hard truths. We aren’t our labels and this time? Is pressing upon that fact _€| and for many it can prove to unravel them

My thoughts…

The story of Jesus. An important one. He punished his closest followers unlike those who threw stones as the ones who knew better he knew ‘Knew better’ whole the others. Life circumstances had not brought them to be broken into such enlightenment and knowledge as he said again and again, hurt grievously in ways we know well … that is why he forgave those who ‘knew not better’ but did not ‘those who DID’. The irony of life is not so blatant when broken down into the actuality of an enlightened thinking. But I’m ways we do as such seen in the justice system where Premeditated murder is punished more harshly than manslaughter…Julie Assmus

Tricky truths

I Am a product of my blood upbringing and experiences and experiences integrated at first subjectively, tasted, smelled, felt. and then further distance more objectively. In other words I am more able to respond to what happened in my past them react to it just disabling emotional connectives, that when once disrupted or threatened and lack of adequate social support system can bring up a variety of behavioral disturbances. With adequate social support I do not care what others think and I never have and I say that as someone with autism who was literally not directly clued in with the desire to connect to others more than what I was interested in, end it took a lot of experimentation and years to finally find out what that is. To know what the senses alone can not tell us.

My prize cloud. Taken in Ogunquit Maine. All rights in regard to writing and photos exc. reserved

Sometimes truth is truly more unbelievable than fiction but I won’t Lie to be believed. And my honesty has cost me. Quite a high price. If you consider what American values to be of high value. Ironically the credibility given to me could only be given by those who were aware that my truth was no fiction at all, by those who had harmed. It all became something i couldn’t speak is of for many reasons, but at the start had to. Social media and making certain federal and state midconduct and civil violations public, saved me more than once from a false disappearance or at one time an unnecessary third transfer when there was no legitimate legal basis for even the First. And those incident are two I can think of off the cuff. Before I say any more I will say this. I am no victim. And would not want anybody else’s story save the crippling disabilities it all left me with. The harrassment, beatings, what is never discussed in the news and media but is as Real as the rise of ‘racism’. Perhaps directing our attentions towards misconduct that pales relatives to the rightZ that are slowly being revoked guy every American in effect of their signing on with governmental assistance 90% of them having no idea that in doing so they are forfeiting their fourth amendment rights as well as others. But this isn’t a story of current events, those you can catch on any news briefing. This is a story you wouldn’t ever hear on the news. One which undermines everything the governing entities of this country allegedly stand for. And by. But they do not. They stand by one another. Blue covers blue. And there’s is hardly an exception to this. Thick of thin, that is the hard reality.

How does one begin to tell a story of what they are not allowed to tell. When I say allowed, I mean to tell a story in so far as there is no punishment for it. Whether by the legal entities or those whose interventions and collaborations have already caused much grief. Short of the actuality being told, I’ll only be known as a false version of myself. And with a pending third contrast MRI for liver cancer? I don’t feel as though I any longer have much time to waste … my body acts different, far older than it should and given I was in prime condition and prided myself on being very healthy, I do know, It only survived because I prepared it to. Sometimes God has us do things and we don’t know any under the time. Like his throwing me in the KSU peace academy Afyer graduate school for education psychology… my friend’s bafflement over my sudden transition. Her bafflement matching my own though I still never questioned my decision. One that served me well beyond any direction I could have possibly known. As thirteen years ago I never would have guessed the underbelly of the government or so corrupt and unable to take accountability…Many decision in the last ten years were made without direct thought but by some directing force not controlled by my own mind her hand. I had no idea how much I’d need His….

…and he did give it to me, I grazed by grace, when I needed it the most. When it was literal life or death .

I speak of what happened or why Not to sensationalize but becauseI suppose that’s because this is how it’s supposed to be told. And unlike the several dozen other attempts this times, but this time, I will just write it and let it be. Let it flow as it needs to be. So it should be with any TRUE story, that and good editing. Would you not suspect my credibility should this story seem too structured or deliberate in its retelling? And that is not the way. It nothing but unexpected events for a decade that has left me with little defense against many things but far stronger still in other. To go back over it might mean embellishment, falsification or changing parts of it. It has to be said however if only for a reason that I am likely of the 1% is survive the ordeal that I underwood. Perhaps I am meant to be a voice for all those snuffed out as mine should have been and would have been where it not for certain divine and other interventions. Fact is, one of the lucky 2% who escaped with my freedom and life intact.

I ended up severely federally disabled in September of , 2011 although I was never formally diagnosed until seven years after that and the reasons for that are as complex as they are unbelievable truths… but I refuse to lie to be believed I refuse to lie to seem honest or accountable but the fact is my truth seems just to unbelievable. That’s too bad. Four boxes of reports before redaction or falsification will help prove that. I should start scanning…Sometimes I wonder if I will ever again be known, for reasons far beyond my control and decades in the making, at seven a foretelling. A dream, one of the very few I remember in which all was taken to the degree I was unable even to see or have grounding in reality to steer myself or think correctly, as though my reality were slowly crumbling. But there was a darker edge, two thieves, shadows, unknowns, whether they were human or something worse, peolle i lnew. Ironically or darkly coincidencantlky it was the only time both my parents came into my room to comfort me. My first question to them was whether they would ever hurt or take things from me. I was seven and trusted them completely. Never had it been called into question. With hushed and emphatic correction they said they never would do such things as that. Together with the words of my one tiered sister on a balmy trip to Bermuda twenty years ago to near to this day, I should have thought more but we do not question the intentions of those we love until their actions prove opposite their word.

I used to be me and was known for who that was and would be. My mother crowding out my ability to speak or be heard nearly to the degree this disability has left me alone and misunderstood as someone I am not. My actual self instead crowded out amongst the stories fed voraciously by a lack of show for justice, which would have been without failure had state and federal entities not been Responsible. And since when was the federal government indicted for solicited attempted murder exactly and it isn’t going to happen now…They say that justice and compassion heals even though the system truly is fucked. Money and power buy freedom so grave illegalities dont always equate into the justice is should bu American ideal. that doesn’t mean that that is what one receives, most especially when it is the federal state and local authorities who have committed the violations against you. Instead they Will attempt to every means and measure possible to make you into who they need to whether by false charge or defamation or both in order to get you for intent for what they had no warrant evidence or judges signature for at least not in my Instance And so due to being pulled from my home, the human rights violations, during their unwarranted federal search upon my place and person. Apparently, in 2011, there were just over 26,000 home invasions conducted in the name of so-called domestic terrorism, and apparently I was one that went horribly wrong…

Please head this. It’s far more comprehensive.

Podcast!

They asked I answered

On Thu, Jul 9, 2020 at 16:38 Julie Assmus <onedayatatime9586@gmail.com> wrote:
RandomHouse

My guess as to what will transpire next? …the country will be reopened Slowly… only for the increase in pandemic to be readily conveyed By media , truth or not, for us to be then further sanctioned to lock downs and quarantines but with further and more Consequences for not Not obeying orders or mandates… more and more we will become like a police state as I mentioned in my blog over seven years ago along with The fact that certain analogues of natural hallucinogens held a Mets therapeutic potential … But whatever !!! And so perhaps come this is some experiment to see what it takes to get the American people to do exactly what they are told by the government despite itbbe Jog the opposition of their wishes and needs… And yet. No protests or Rallies … So long as we believe it is in our best interest in health we will obey we are a selfish people . despite it being the exact opposite of their very wishes and needs we will do what we have to to survive…perhaps this is also to assess how long the people can last under such duress, meanwhile ever widening the Wealth gap, taking out the middle class…?Fifty birdsOne stone?🤷‍♀️


Julie Assmus. P.I.

I finally sent the NH board of Psychology evidence of Karen Pearson’s misconduct; DIDNT want to. It was time

All prints newZ taken three days ago. All rights reservedZ Found an easy way to frame frame (it’s called ‘expand?’)

On Thu, Jun 25, 2020 at 17:10 Julie Assmus <onedayatatime9586@gmail.com> wrote:
To the boardWhat’d ya thinkIt’s fairAnd it’s the DX I WAITED FORNO WONDER I was a bit frustrated being labeled It’s one thing just thatIt’s another when you’re hurting so bad and that is as acute as it goes unrecognized. For years. And years. That is why it was so difficult for me to have any empathy for your injury despite the fact that had a been within my person before the age of 32 it is the first thing I would’ve asked about before every session believe it or not I would’ve been like hey so how’s it feeling you doing OK but you know what Bruce I couldn’t bring myself to and do you know why Bruce because you didn’t ask about mikeAnd NO ONE HAD AND I WAS DYING FOR ITSo please forgive me that I couldn’t have empathy at a time that no one had any for me for things that were 20 times more grievous in length and acuity
On Thu, Jun 25, 2020 at 17:04 Julie Assmus <onedayatatime9586@gmail.com> wrote:

Her motive for the Dishonesty Was to make statements to make me sound unstable rather than someone who had severe medical conditions and was in a very vulnerable and fragile condition at the time of her misconduct. She also made mention to me that for her to act against me former to any hearing with the board would avert the board from Taking any action against her * I had told her I was to file and she got tur no contact then after I mentioned the law (dumb me) . Then the very day that she met with the board she called the police ain’t got a no trespass order on me despite the fact that I had not been there or near the property in months and also was the fact that she was told repeatedly how hurt I was and that I merely needed closure and instead she acted out against me the same day she met with the board essentially meaning she felt humiliated but she can’t act out against me like that especially after a line to the board and the judge in my complaint being legitimate and also my haven’t given her for months to give me closure.

Then the very day that she met with the board she called the police and got a no trespass order on me despite the fact that I had not been there or near the property in months and also was the fact that she was told repeatedly how hurt I was and that I merely needed closure and instead she acted out against me the same day she met with the board essentially meaning she felt humiliated but she can’t act out against me like that especially after a line to the board and the judge in my complaint been legitimate and also my haven’t given her four months to give me closure. I had done nothing wrong. She had. Then lied. Then acts outZ I didjt do those things now any of what I alleged in regard to her conduct in session and My attempts (with undiagnosed and untreated severe temporal lobe epilepsy and I was going through a Clonopin withdrawal at the time so my mind was literally going crazy). She devalued and discarded at a time I literally prior Dx was labelled instead of helped. She had said she believed me then did only damage to me. My family and friends saw my health decline rapidly over the next two years because of the psychological trauma it induced I felt pressure on my chest and like I’ve been kicked in the gut for a year and a half straight and it really did my heart and I mean that

At the hearing she had with the board in my regard, lied about my condition, having referred me to a neurologist as well as a speech pathologist after the second injury, definitely noting the same changes as my fiancé. There is absolutely no way she can contest she noted major differences after the major concussion post the major untreated head injury in 2011. Below is a most recent list of my actual diagnosis. And none of it is what Karen Pearson alleged. I do believe this needs to be taken serious as not only did she lie to the board but a judge at my SSI hearing, stating again my conditions were pre-existing, well knowing (and my being able to show) they were notZ had she thought they were such referrals wouldn’t be made 

— 
Julie Assmus. P.I.


Julie Assmus. P.I.

I’m a threat and want to Live; and a few new prints

To those entities responsible for the violations that are reported to the New Hampshire Attorney General and as I said given I was not charged with felony perjury instead the charges are being looked into and now again the state is up my ass

I was going to post a link here and have no idea now which link that is …. I’ll remember it! Don’t you worry! 😊

These same entities which will use the pandemic to ensure they take full advantage of it especially in my case and they say sometimes even your personal rights are taken awaywould like to ‘quarantine’ me though two empty fedex boxes with no directions? Again? Had no idea so there went into the trash. Not to mention we aren’t supposed to open or touch packages we didn’t order or are unfamiliar with. So… nope. I assert my rights not to give them reason to falsely state I’m COVID position, allegedly quaratinr me but ao coincidenrally, these same entities, the feds , the state, have wanted complete control of le ever since their violations. All they need is a reason to delegate me and make it possibility for anyone to know what is actually going on which would not be quarantine but commitment in would be more horrific than anything I’ve been through yet and it will not happen I’ll take my life before they take me anywhere agaik WITHOUT REASON. Why because I know if they do with all my conditions been torn off my meds would do my heart in so I’d rather go my way then there’sWhy because I know if they do with all my conditions been torn off my meds would do my heart in so I’d rather go my way then theirs though my true wish is to remain , here alive! and moving forward past all this mess and Storm.

Were this all some paranoid delusion I wouldn’t have four boxes full of every document which evidence is every single event that I have stated do I need to post again the Spark Video to outline exactly what that was? I will

1st draft: unedited; Because I never lie and I will no longer be lied about and I will continue this story…. tbc

  • Unbelievable Truths

How does one begin to tell a story of what they are not allowed to tell. When I say allowed, I mean to tell a story in so far as there is no punishment for it. Whether by the legal entities or the parents that be whose interventions and collaborations have already caused much grief. It’s time me for the truth to be known. And not their made up Version in which I am the antithesis of my character that I’ve always been known to be. So far one of the other punitive measures after speaking the truth; as though that is some aberrant behavior when their lies spread like a virus and snuffed outs ability to receive what I needed to heal. JUSTICE. COMPASSION ANS MEDICAL ATTENTION.

They left the country as soon as they had me committed against my will. Collaboration with federal authorities , all my mothers has to do was lie . To the police about my mental state _instwad I’d call me; she did. You see she was upset with an unflattering post I’d written whuch merely mentioned her…as well as about ready to become NLADC licensed and engaged. Her deep rooted fear that u would take the express away from them perhaps activated yet pathology. She exacted her lies perfectly and she was issued the prayer request. Having committed me in a state of withdrawal from several meds I’d been denied by my psychiatrist three days prior she has turned on her heel to catch up with my father who had left without so much as looking at me. A child that had gotten all As, good to hage in class, aced college and grad school and never had any legal problems I’d the past. I’d never been told box I never had a boundary said and this was because I never did things I wasn’t supposed to do and they knew this and yet still collaborated: HAD THEY heard me, seen me THEN; had they stopped and called; I wouldn’t be didabled. This doesn’t mean I blame them it just means that if they had left maybe I would be fine . And that’s been the case for far too many times . So many times now I will speak up and I will say it loud and clear and not delete it . EVER

SO SOME punitive measures invariably catch up with me when either gets wind that I’ve spoken my truthZ they say I am threatening thrm. Bit their lies which caused immense irreplaceable damage they do not account for, have manipulated and disguised… are they worried they’ll be found out? They should be because I won’t live WITHIN THEIR LIES BUT OUTSIDE IN THE LIGHT. The truth. I’ve always said and lived thetruthS. Nothing I have ever done has ever done damage to anyone. Words are as bad as I get. But my Paramus. Those who hurt me, they are a different sorry and funny thing is? TI this day despite their own damning actions and incompetence nearly killing meV and disabling em for lofe? They Blake me for the results and have never taken action against any of the offenders. Because it won’t make them lookgood. No instead it would expose that they did the opposite of what any caring parents would have…and not for a good, legal, just nor moral reasons, but instead own self interest, protection of their own indiscretions and illegalitirs. Because you see just because I ended up severely federally disabled ineffective everybody acting out against me it is me who is not supposed to tell the actual story. And it is Me Who is supposed to pay for the consequence and instead falsity being said.

I say I don’t think so

Fuck that. 

I don’t know what you’ve heard and I wish I cared more but I care enough so that is why I speak. Because you see if I do not then I will never be known, my actual self instead crowded out amongst the stories fed voraciously by a lack of justice which would have been without failure been followed up upon and prevailed, had things gone as they should. But since when did that become.? Since when was the federal government indicted for solicited attempted murder exactly and it isn’t going to happen now 

They say that justice and compassion heals, that is why they are available but even in the worst, that doesn’t mean that that is what one receives, most especially when it is the federal state and local authorities who have committed the human rights violations against you in an unwarranted federal search upon your place and person. They were wrong as they had been certain. Tiles all screwed on my ceiling, plugs I learned what anybody who works for the state knows that the feds don’t take accountability for the shit in the people they shit on but instead they pay state employees big bucks to white wash liabilities…. liabilities like me.

And I became quite  a large and unexpected one over the years…The more entrapments I outsmarted the greater liability I became as then more authorities were then involved. Should I blame myself ? Was this my fault, their mistakes, illegalities, my consequences and mere curiosity? Of what? That’s part of the story we need not yet get to, but is relevant and that it is indicative that I was searching interested in a light mint ancient cultures and the way they knew far more than we do, today unable to re-create what they the first civilizations built to God before God was even a construct a religion was a fad.

What I was guilty of?

I tried to protect myself and get the medical help I needed those were my only crimes. And yet now? I am seen and known as a very angry character when I was never known to express much of any at all before. 

  • The audience. So far the receiving audience of my story has been dubious at best, they not relating, comprehending, having the patience, giving a shit or all of the above. I don’t blame them. It’s too much and I’m so sick of hearing about it, through my own mojthX it coming out as mechanical as though I have no emotion connected to it. Fact is, after saying so many times what happened to he labelled, called paranoid psychotic in absence of any diagnoses for the first 32 years of my life. It was like a slow crucifixion, having been respected and admired  to devalued and projected upon within a ten-year period due to my becoming federally disabled; they’re mistaking my disability for my character. Perhaps God wants me to wonder how many times I’ve done that myself in my life to another . Whose life is this anyway! Apparently not

   Mine anymore, the prognosis not looking too positive

And truly what was I to say how was I to explain where I was I had to begin had I known these people from my birth they would have known that it was not me speaking at certain points but these people did not be a work we’re not able to differentiate between who I was and my brain ability

at this point when I talk about it I do not . This excludes the few. The few that were there. State officials well aware that no governmental entity will take accountability for their legalities, those who are well acquainted with the way that things truly work not the way we are told that they do

They will tell you that the feds pay state employees big bucks to white wash liabilities like me. So How I became such a liability? Where is this story going . It the story of the last decade but I got to that place somehow. There’s always a story behind the story and often that one matters far more tgan the resulting occurrence, consequences or anything seen. It is perhaps within the decades proceeding, The characters there in that had far more to do with where I am at today than the 10 years resulting only as they did and may, given the former. 

There was a time before then, and that was where it all began you know. Where it does for each of us. Thirty years former. In a home where I now understand my own infant eyes more likely than not met cold empty ones in replace of the nurturing motherly kind. I suppose it depended on the company she was in, her mood and a variety of other factors; as to break her image was to show her face, her hand, that she was not as she had others believe. We knew but should we tell the truth. Always came consequences, withholding merely for being honest about her temper tantrum that morning over not catching my gerbil.

It was her birthday Z and it infuriated her that she has to begin it as such. I can imagine this 

constant back and forth would cause confusion, distresss and constant anticipation for an infant and child, a need for some stability that would not come easy. My father was a recluse and far more likely to do what he knew would make her happy than what we needed ourselves as children. Essentially they both still as themselves and ar the bear of her moments my mother is able to account not only for this but for having lied to the chief of PD and saying I was suicidal well knowing I was not, neither having called. It was retaliation though they told everyone elsewise/ it cause complete devastation and havoc that can not be erased and caused consequences I was repeatedly blamed for. 

For the first twelve years of my life I would wake with my stomach in knots, perhaps one of the only physical indicators ther somehthfng was wrong. But when I think back, it feels as though I am flailing and waiting for someone to catch me. But no one ever did. I had to learn to catch myself. Speak up for myself. They never helped me

My parents are of the sort that when they see struggle they do not offer help, but readily do when uncertain if their help is needed or see it and their help is no longer needed.

I’ve given up on expecting one call a week that I’ve requested though my mother was eager to be in ready contact when I had not needed nor asked.Weekly at least,, she would leave messages that I very much need now. But now…It’s almost as though she is lashing out, for those years past I returned no ones call, my injuries and brain damage not yet diagnosed nor treated. I couldn’t think, didn’t know why akd was in denial.  My desperate pleas for help that went completely without notice fed the need to suppress the reality of the injuries. 

Now that I am alone, having walked from an engagement I should not have been in, but had no choice but to remain in, it is as though she is lashing out at All she has resented me forZ while I’m down. Really off the coach. Federally disabled. How many times they tried to sabotage my Social Security I cannot even tell you because they’ve always wanted complete control. They will lie and tell you that it’s the last thing that they want even though they partition things down to the last penny. Their actions DEFY their promises and words. Always. There’s no trust there. 

It seems as though any truth is followed by some punitive restrictive measure that cannot quite be pinned, the absolute antagonistic tone so seemingly caring (to one not aware it is said in a sense of any correlating actions at least, to convey what has been said of done is near impossible without sounding as though I am paranoid ungrateful or in some way confused. If others Saw them in action, the words would be far worse than if they aligned truth with their intent and actuality as iooose to say what makes them appear as they need but not act out what these words say or mean. But can I proven that? Can I prove they do not come to Maine to see and be with me? No I can notZ but they can prove all the love in their hearts if it is there of whether they not have the capacity. It is not tie words that matter but the actions -and nearly every one of their has proven either detrimental or been Ana tremor to take control, afyer repeatedly stratified they want nothing to do with my financial affairs.they lie, either to or themselves, either way they act out the opposite of what they had promised and said . To me. And to others 

he narcissism of my parents as acute as their intelligence, making them a danger to anyone who did not embellish the image ever more important than the reality of our family, even a child’s undoing would be met by cold hands and hearts, those same ones proclaiming so authentically to the world, their worry, their concern. But the actions did not align in the leaat with the proclamations should the actuality of the last decade be revealed. And should it not be righted, I will be known as a version of myself that has no correlation to myself. So when I go ‘home’ it is no longer their the fabric of our community once tightly woven now unraveleleed to The degree my mother could go in there and make knots and snares out of what used to be the truth. You see there were new people to replace the ones who had known My mothers temper. This new audience was as ignorance to her anger as my neighbors were more than adept at hearing it while we grew up. Chipping ice off the driveway in the winter. Her incessant cussing. Caroline Whitman, the sole witness to her past the only party of the ten at my mothers 70th whose story was this, putting a hatchet down in the middle of all the fluff my mother had created out of all her wanted parts, having discarded all her unwanted ones onto me, the unknown daughter, except to tur Whitmams. Who came up to me after and told me “parents are often wrong”.

They still saw. They still knew. Amidst the horror of all that was happening and that I could not tell them. They still saw me, even if they hadn’t been told of the injuries and instead of was what it never was, a bad relationship, drugs, things I hadn’t thought of since my mid twenties.

But my mother wouldn’t have to keep up the act for long. Hide information. Soon all those I’d known had moved out of town to places I do not know.

 Her duplicity, once terrifying to me as an infant, no recollection save the faint body resonance remembrance., I’d call no attention to her behavior now, nor while she was alive, were it not continually to my detriment. Were it not for the fact that my father and sister who once were my protectors have slid out of the picture, either into some dementia and path of least resistance to turning away and continuing it to look, such as wfh my sister. The words I most remember her saying to my father in front of my mother in defense of mg person were always

Mom you know mom did not do or say tha

I Recall that as clearly as I recall having no idea of what she was saying

it not at a point that oantagonized as though the are looking for some material in which to say hey look see she is as we say she is the former to my severe injuries and accidents I was known as nothing other than self contained, save the angry email spat out during a blackout in my early 20s. But now Im the wake of the departure of all who once knew Her, she was able to recreate herself to the extent she has either competent forgotten her own temper and anger, without severe injuries, as oppose to in any way relate. Instead she will point all out that was not as it was before as some character trait, when of all people she would know or was not their before. But now I am the perfect canvas for her projections, lies, manipulations. And In return I will offer the truth. The truth of who I am, not whom she has needed so desperately to paint, her unwanted projections.Her mecurial moods which had me waking up with my stomache always in knots. . But that was then and she couldn’t get away with what she can now, With a Husband who has decided to take the path of least resistance he sister who has turned her back in favor of her own envy and fear and all those who do not know the truth, do what she pleases with me. And all my assets. All that she has wanted to control my entire life. Were thwt not true than many things would be done very differently. And not partitioned In a way so your federally disabled daughter needs to ask for laundry money. Because the $100 didn’t last. I’m 42 years old and was independent prior to my disability. The first occurring in 2011. I was then on my own and lived one year at home. A year I learned why my sister became whom she did. 

Why she never comes home and told me one night to this day she denies. That neither should i. I got halfway there and it seemed the first opportunity she had, she clipped my wings, an internship away from MLADC. It was as though she has done nothing but enjoy watching me try and fly with these bloody stumps which I know will needed heal . But like that bird I will keep on trying because really what else option is there

father’s eyes are complete forgetting who I am or simply at 83 surrendering completely to her control and allowance of her behavior towards me always backing her up and triangulating. I, at the age of 42, have never been treated so poorly by my parents and they will say fairy fairy fairy clearly that is in reaction to Julies  on anger and behavior when the fact remains, that r was not their prior to being disbelieved labelled and not medically treated despite desperately asking and specifically the actuality. 

My mistake? Was believing that I would be believed because I have had never had a reason not to be but it was so unbelievable what it happened to me that along side the injury I just sounded crazy. What happened to me? When? Over the course of a decade beginning in 2011.But we are not there yet. That is simply the marker the marker of the time that I realized the depth of my parents pathology and the fact that it even alarmed my father’s colleague to the degree…after what he saw he was capable of…? he still fears him to this day. I didn’t know what they we’re capable of the worst I knew of my father was him saying to people it would be a shame if you and then threaten some loss and coming from my father and his esteemed position it was always taken serious. So he threatened. And always got his way by way of this bullying yet when the truth was my way out, he condemned that I soeak of it, as the version that was told, was not applicable to the actuality of offense but far more so to rationalize why my parents did not come to help until 2013 with a pastor essentially holding their hand to make a 2 Hour Drive. Prior to this I had to beg them to get me medical help my fiancé had to beg them for bail telling them I was severely injured which they denied him being overseas and plenty of other things that if people who know my sister and I and my family growing up New as well would be beyond appalled.  they would Step in and help me. But you see no one knows. No one knows the actuality and no cares anymore. No one wants to know. So I’m left with the vestiges of this mess and two narcissistic parents for whom I am no longer able to perform. Though my minds speed could conquer light the wiring got quite mixed up in regions that does not at all help alleviate the  trauma. In fact the temporal lobe epilepsy invites is to the degree I am convinced it is all happening. Again. I mean it did go on for years *. I do know I’m a liability so long as I’m credible and free. As I know that so long as I live I will have a target on my back simply for having overcome every obstacle laid down by officers. One against dozens. An exhaustive army. Against me. Now my body has paid the price and can no longer sit in fight or flight… it will kill me, my heart no longer able to tolerate cardiac exercise which I thrived on greatest prior. It’s amazing what stress can do. It can stop your heart and it WILL wear it out. As it did mine. To have every authority you were conditioned to know you could trust instead be against you while you were severely injured and they were repeatedly harassing you was exhausted and I could not do it forever. I can not. Please stop

I’ll never forget the way my mother walked away that day so way before she did she turned to me after I said to her you know you should be here instead of me I know she said plainly currently they left the country three days later leaving me or my mom’s lies with soon be uncovered. When they were the judge ordered her at my commitment hearing to therapy and me to nothing, my discharge absolute. they had not anticipated that I would be released at all, nor that there would be any hearing. In fact I got a hold of the paperwork and it issued a third transfer. That never happened . In report it stayed my mother stayed me suicidal to the Hanover Pd to get a prayer request issued in order to have me committed. I was the opposite of a state they knew I’d never been in and she was aware of that fact. . She outright lied out of resentment. Fact is she collaborated with what I could have resulted in far more trauma than it did, their expecting me to fall further into a torturous state (wd) stayed as Inhumane In the US and UK. And my human rights has been violated in a sense of any guilt, which I had none. which would then be labeled psychosomatic and then maybe well I’m not sure what was their plan for me… being torn off an amount of a medication that was labelled torturous. And denying I’d ever been on it.to claim a withdrawal which would have made the most self contained MARINE lose his shit? That was horrific. In and OF ITSELF.

What hadn’t been anticipated it was my fiancé who insured RITE-AID faxed New Hampshire state hospital the fact that I had been on this medication and soon it was all turned around which should not have beenZ so many things over the years they hadn’t anticipated, yet neither had I. What I did know as I realize now!m? I never once saw my end at the hand of one of their entrapments. They were not a Gods and it was only for him to decide when and where I left this earth. I’d that were not the case I’d Long Beach dead by now. 

But what.. what instead? I try not to think about it

And that was just the beginning 

My mother lying to the chief of police in Hanover New Hampshire saying I was suicidal in order to get a prayer request so they could commit me in order that the feds and state be able to search and seize my place in person. But that is not the story. The story begins thirty years prior. Though I shooed there are things you learn about those close as to you, only when circumstances are different. Things you learn about your parents pathology that for so long you had sublimated to survive. To believe I had two loving whole adult parents. Not two flawed traumatized people who due to their own demons were narcissistic and could love us only so far as we represented them well. So fond they were at hiding their hatred at contempt for us in front of others when we were not their perfect reflection. And for the head I was the opposite of it, I faved sadistic triangulation on a level that would traumatize one subjected to it even if it weren’t incurrrr by his own parents. 

My mom. My sister was always angry with her. and I never took any time to discover why that may be. Now I understand. Completely. 

I was insulated in ways my sister was not growing up, but only by means of dissonance and dissociation. Her tools? Ampere is and absolute perfectionism to the degree she would MARK the rothpaate and shampoo to know if I had used any. Which meant Nothijg co soaring out parents bought our maintenance proudicts growing up. Bit to her it was some major disruption. I comprehend now it was her way of expressing having constant boundaries violated by my mothers inability to Amos is to have abuzz and should we ask I’m for it kf withoit oit colpanh, any nurturant would be replaced by an icy emptiness. Something to be avoided at a time that to botD would be to be unable to deny what and whom we lived with. A mother who had no coal city to be oneX but seemed to care and thrice when we did her justice, neber when we had issues or feelings. Those she jscsevdesig with and it was certainly far from my fathers Specialty he taught marketing at the Dartmouth tuck school since two years before my both in 1977. A year he was likely still humbled unequal not caught up in his narcissism to the degree that it was pathological to the point where he no longer told my mom to apologize, get it together or stop. In fact today it is as though she has complete control over him he like a laptop whenever she leaves him he runs to try to find her. Granted he is 83; but he needn’t treat her like a needed motherZ .

But that is exactly what she represents to him on many levels as well as her being his prize. He would have spent his entire life time showing her off if he’d had opportunity to. Coming over from Europe he seem to Miss White all the American man we’re not interested. I suppose to Germans, The ability to discern charisma and enactment with actual pathology was lost on him. Or perhaps he solely just wanted and desperately needed it to be. Even when ij kater life it became increasingly evident. He kept a tabs on it,  Mike clearly marking the time that peace begin when he returned home between 530 and six as she would be forced to reconcile certain impulses.  Not to mention that is exactly when they broke the Sheri out. And now I know why she always made her dinner so slow, a half hour fix a full blown home grown tomato sauce from scatch, and then far more time for her to itch that qlcoholkx scratch she would never admit to this dwyS was as such. Bit were it not she could have given it uoS and there was never an evening she cohkdZb. How many per evening I am not sure but my guess by her foul Moods in the morning we’re likely between 3-5: and she is a slight woman, 5’10”; 143lbs. Her figure means a lot to her. As well as , I highly suspect, my father. I will cook her that even at the current age of 72 she looks incredible. My father has his down days but all in all appears far younger than his 83 years. So I suppose a relatively easy life will not stress a person nearly as much as one of survival and fight.  What will my mother say her big adventure was I have no idea because she is never had one

And I did not plan to have on of my own. But it happened and though the truth is stranger than fiction I will not lie to sound as though I am telling the truth instead I will tell the truth and take my chances with peolle not believing the truth I have nothing to hide and can evidence each of the statements I make/ here quick is a video I put together to synopsis the experience iced the last decade

If ISNT WHO I AM NOT IN ANY WAY DOES IT DEFINE ME, but gives you an idea why I’m at where I Am. Today

Thank you

Honestly your all comments have been very generous and it Motivates me to create more concise and clear content

hey maybe I’ll even edit my work prior posting instead of continuing to self sabotage as you all can see I have a nice little habit of doing . Something so easily undone

Again I really appreciate all 114 comments on my blog because when I read what I write, I often think ‘what the F*** was I THINKING?!? ‘ BUT AS always IT IS progress not perfection and thank you again keep following me and I will do my best to see what’s up with YOU ALL

and not to make excuses but we’re not for my disability I put a lot more work into Editing and I will Now make a deliberate effort for my followers. Julie Assmus

I am getting mixed messages here…What truly is epidemic right now

All words and work my own; all rights reserved

is it just me or Is there a lot of hypocrisy, causing increased confusion. such as telling Americans to get tested if there’s a Epidemic and yet saying those suspected to be symptomatic will be quarantined..

Are we making something of something but making it something much more? And to what ends? who benefits. The rich or the poor? Who in the end will see the greatest shifts in their lives? The wealthy or impoverished. The answer to that question should give you the answer to the main one. Are we making a mountain of a quite a large molehill

What incentive is That? We don’t even know what that means. How could we? what about the fact that they are seriously debating to release a young population from incarceration who could well be symptomatic without knowing it as it has been said, while telling every other young healthy person to stay away from everybody in society. how do we rationalize this? Any Of what we say is epidemic

ourselves? Our basic senses. Out awareness that a stimulant package would be denied To the president for good reason, but not Not to aid in crisis itself . The Democrats simply don’t want Trump taking the money and gambling it as he has , does and WILL.

So What’s the cost what’s the risk?

It’s a ‘gamble’

what’s the trouble worth ? How many lives will be saved? More than those who die of dehydration. The second leading cause of death, the first being cardiac arrest. But we are, first stop, headed for the one thing that gives the gov sound rationale to batten down the hatches. Was this a take one for the team. We’re American and others collateral damage? Have any authority figures in congress or otherwise does if they have Allegedly already had it? How many die from it. 1%z same as the flu, which is 100 times more ‘active. But hey, what do I know other than the obvious facts .

Without them we are left in a stage of anxiety. So how come we still are even though we feel we have the facts, because deep down we know? The world will never be the same. And that we are Not being Todd… everything. Well what about other countries? Did it cause major shift and change In Spain? Italy? Are those countries using this as an excuse to change something that we do not need to? We will see.

Anyone does. Of every word and contradiction? What truly Is the epidemic. Because the death toll is lower than by many common causes of death we aren’t naming a fuss about. I realize this is different as it can spread though only kills 1% if it’s victims. IF that.

Quick note . Also odd…almost pushing it upon them during this time of crisis when it was not asked for your expected has anyone asked why Such a difference in approach attitude about the welfare of Americans. Could it possibly have more to do with knowing that they will be surrendering several of their human rights by getting any financial assistant or governmental aid? Just saying

Then Trump gets $53 billion from the Strafford act But that is hardly if everyone spoken about. It’s only 50 Billion anyhow….and somehow he cannot afford 100,000 God damn plastic masks and other needs …medical equipment essentially made of plastic . Could it possibly be that expensive ? instead he put the entire amount towards defence and we do not know exactly what that means or how that is helpful to us during this now, as of 3/17/2020 pandemic

I just don’t get it
But that’s me. Perpetually confused

But again is a pandemic that which kills 50% of the 1% of the elderly with already underlying conditions on ventilators due to this virus or to these people that die already perhaps from natural causes….? just a thought
(Update ; ir is not said to be capable of killing those younger. But the numbers. Of 20k who get sick an average of 250 die. That percentage is very very low. Less than the flu I imagine. Especially in the elderly who happen to be 80% of its victims. So again what is the epidemic? That which is by numbers and percent killing far less people than the flu just in ITSELF? Or the crisis it is creating. The instability. The compete DEPENDENCE ON THE GOVERNMENT NOW WITH and now… Ever so coincidental, ever so coincidental AN ‘excuse’ to exercise extreme police state measures.

Let’s get some color up in Here

Has history not repeatedly Repeated itself and repeatedly told a story in which directly prior to a dictatorship there need be some severe crisis in which the stability of the government is sought and their information counted on more than in decades. Why? Because we have been given no choice. Always it is in the face of severe instability in which the government is seen as a solid institute of solidarity well if it’s that created by outside forces or entities who else could created but ass and if it doesn’t exist what else can create it but the spread of information which leads us to believe we need to figure something that is no more harmful than the flu?has it not been said that directly prior to a dictatorship there needs to be an epidemic pandemic or severe crisis and period of instability in which the government is seen as a solid Institute of solidarity well if it’s not created by outside forces or entities who else could created but ass and if it doesn’t exist what else can create it but the spread of information which leads us to believe we need to fear something that is no more harmful than the flu

And then there’s the ever oresent media. A voracious beast never ending feast this supposed epidemic . The media is telling us to limit our exposure to 30 minutes a day and yet in our safe self isolation we are exposed to nothing but media Internet and such news as they tell us to limit our exposure to again the Pockrus he after the Pockrus he so we never feel like we’re doing anything right . I DO, & Y the fuck is that so arrogant …When it is exactly. What you think of you? Hypocrisy is the word Of the day

Then if I have not already mentioned the Strafford act in the $53 billion and the fact that we are on able somehow to buy enough medical equipment generally need plastic on 53 dip billion dollars went instead he said to Airline ‘Defense’ yet firmly Failed to defend such an expenditure

Now THIS IS SCARY SHIT; together with our rights seizures anyone can be ‘isolated’. WHERE? Has anyone said WHERE?!?Legal Authorities for Isolation and Quarantine | Quarantine | CDC

As I predicted in 2011 we are headed towards a police state, this an expedite me my in human docility. They know we will only do as they have asked Willingly if we believe are own lives and safety are at stake. The numbers on the ‘pandemic’ in regard to the death rate is likely less than .000001%z . How do I figure? That only 2# of the pop have been tested and of them 1% died. So if the entire pop was tested we would likely come up with a number closer to 30 if not 50%. And of THAT STATISTIC the percentage relative to it? Is NEGLIGIBLE. Far more so than the real killers. Heart disease, diabetes, dehydration and well organ failure due to a multitude of issues. But not thisZ I realize in Itality CORONA was tightly located within a small population making the problem seem big. Though has their numbers been spread as would be seen in populations more spread out, it who’d not have seemed so alarming. The news amps the drama to amp up the fear. Fear of what they well know Americans Fear the most, economic devastation, inability to pay bills, worst of all inability to do anything about it as well as worse if all fear of possible sickness and death to loved ones and self. But that likelihood is low. Right? Why so little testing if it was as large of an issue? Test the school children and see if they have the virus and are simply immune or so not. We could learn a lot sin through testing we do not say we(they( are doing. Uhhh… why again? It would give us a far MORE JUST NUMBER TO KNOW WHAT PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE DO AND WILL DIE FROM THIS . Here is the government saying it’s a huge problem yet somehow focusing on Everything BUT I

WHAT THE

FUCK!?!

Legal Authorities for Isolation and Quarantine | Quarantine | CDC
— Read on www.cdc.gov/quarantine/aboutlawsregulationsquarantineisolation.html

The Epitome of SHADEFREUDE; Suggestion; as oppse to jump to conclusions about who I AM, how about Learn about who that IS. OR you can assume, project your Own disowned bullshit, be that coward and blame my character or hear the truth; of HOW AND WHY it all came Out to be; the opposite of who Was Me; I have seemed to become; the epitome of SHADEFREUDE

Processed with MOLDIV

My being a primer source of the idealized crashes and enviable. Take away the ideal and you’ll just get shit on. I’ve learned that.
As Americans these days seem to do in absence of any BLACK AND WHITE explanation, they stop thinking at all for alternatives. It’s too easy to assume, judge; take what you want. That’s what you’ve done. F94 for me to tell people , to tell You; beyond those who were there, had been solicited, my attorney or those working with the state whom are familiar with such white washing what happened, meant risking my reputation but today it means telling the TRUTH AS I AM MEANT TOS MY PURPOSE IS CLEAR.
I know what it means to automatically be stigmatized. To be treated the opposite of what I was. To experience a slow crucifixion. To be labeled all I’m bots a fraud. As a liar. All while UNABLE to get the much needed medical help which she was told seven years by multiple specialists, had she would have left her WITHOUT severe permanent Life altering Injuries, chronic pain, epilepsy and severe brain damage the tip fo the iceberg. So in America, one will assume, especially if their envy or aggression has been activated towards this person. Especially is they would like to find REASON To justify their OWN projections and anger; Which would mean a bout 90% of people. So much shame that us displaced onto others.  

Processed with MOLDIV

Given Americans are only comfortable with the expression of designated which fit neatly into a square box, they will devalue or feel shame should one admit to or should they feel anything else. At best they will perhaps be mystified as to the emotion they are feeling, and at worst, if it surrounds an area of importance, shame. But few are able to tolerate or deal with their own shame and so displace it onto others, namely those brave enough to admit to the very emotions the finger pointers themselves are feeling… they shame anyone who experiences anything outside of them, despite the fact that no ones emotions or values fit neatly into any box, Why? Because we are human not god damn auto mans. The auto mans have had their personality replaced by the conditions of society completely, and these are the most dangerous among us, having literally traded their soul in order to join a rat race, no one will ever win, because their is no prize, and this game, is made up, by the mind of men.

So we do not acknowledge any emotions that are between those designated as appropriate yet in every other country there is a word for certain emotions that Americans w2ould never admit to today but given these words are as common in all the rest of the world but ours, IT seems Americans are the Least comfortable with their own humanity, given the fact they’ve been essentially conditioned to feel shame for any emotion, impulse, desire or need OUTSIDE of what Americans have designated as ‘successful’ or ‘appropriate’. Have we not forgotten that we are the land of the free, home of the brave? Perhaps these days more so cowardly, beyond those who actually live their lives for a purpose greater than their own selves and fulfillment of ego, There is nothing in that life, not for me, at least, but emtptiness. All peace one has within comes From their sense of connection to other Loved ones,. Beyond this it matters not how far along one is in this race, there are so many of, but he will be plagued by bafflement and disillusionment, as he can not male out why he is not happy or satisfied, given what he has ‘achieved’., perhaps BECAUSE in the process of doing so he sacrificed that which truly mattered, Others.

 But shadefreide will make us do, think and feel things we never imagined. And would never tell anyone. At least not in America where we do not acknowledge the shades of grey. Where we would instead deny anything other than compassion in the face of another’s suffering. Yet here is a word in every other country for the exact opposite. No wonder the shame in this country, merely for being human. I don’t canary that, I carry shame for things I’ve said i wish i had not. Even when it isn’t my fault but the result of combined severe trauma and two major head injuries. Even when the words and behavior never happened prior and isn’t apart of mg character. The shame however comers from knowing what others make of it. And that I can not help or stop because there is no way to explain the long term pain and desperation without belief or help until it was too late.

The shade that most emotions are, Are grey, For which only our country does not and can not name. And as we know language can shape a county and a coutry as well. And it has shaved ours down to bite sized nuggets of politically appropriate words to emotions, where no one acknowledges, the in between. Where most of our emotions live if at not least lean. There are no clear cut happy and sad and truly for everyone the definitions of these themselves are even not so clear. Subjective, even that is too confusing for Americans. We want our beef and potatoes, none of this fancy shit on the side which if we tried..bunt we done,…\If we are confused about emotions ruled as the only ones we are to have, perhaps we need to look at the fact we are not experiencing JUST them. Why? Becujase we are not MACHINES . We are humans. I know this is a revelations for the mounting number of auto-mans whom have seemed to replace our civilization

Photography
Photos taken by Julie Assmus this past summer

But my point here is not political. IT is about searching me based on falsified records made so in order for subsequent and severe human rights violations to not have to face the light of day, let alone those accountable for them. No, Instead they will defame, incriminate and if these measures fail to shut that person up and or down? Extermination. All three? Were tried on me/ AS fact. Not story. And certainly not one i chose to have. It didn’t leave me stronger. IT has left me broken, albeit my humility and faith have grown in the process of this slow crucifixion exponentially.

Envy is a bitch and that bitch ain’t me? In every country BUT the US there is a word which acknowledges what it means to be happy at another’s misery. Because there are many shades of grey. Like shadefreude. The delight at an envied demise. No? Why no belief? Empathy? Easier to see it the fun way? Your way?

Nice. That ain’t on me. I have my support in the form of those who have enough se,f respect and confidence to know the result of my trauma and injuries isn’t me nor an excuse to talk about me. I never have about you. Never would. That’s isn’t like me. So I don’t put up with it. WHen I find out about it. You’ll know.

My point? Please do not allow your judgement and projections to overcome the desire to know the truth beyond the false charges: not convictions. Charges unable to be annulled for a decade now. Charges I can not explain because I have no association with even the behavior OF THE OFFNSE, .UNLESS YOU CAN explain why you committed murder, i can no better explain my own false charges. Not annulled. Because every prosecutor has heej threatened by the state. Because you see, if I am credible? Any case I present against an employee of thrm? Would be LOOKED INTO AND THE WHOLE OF WHAT HAPPENED? blown wide open

They, those who were responsible for the unwarranted federal investigation, carried out without warrant, judges signature or any evidence, like with any secret; will go to great lengths to cover it, whether it a fact or the misconduct. It will be the subject of their investigation, guilty or innocent as I was in my case, will pay.

So I ask? That you ask me or get to know who I am Past the shot and the story. The fact prior to 2011 all o did was work in schools with children and adults with disabilities before attending graduate school at KSU for a Masters in counseling. I moved here to start an internship with Deb Braun Mills. Every fact I state checks out. 

None they have, does: that is what they are so concerned about. Perhaps. Most especially the solicited 2015 attempted murder. It happened and caused me to have to go from dealing with an UNTREATED +HEAD INJURY from 2011 to a SEVERE successive CONCUSSION WHICH BROGHT ME TO MY KNEES and which was not as well properly treated. The officers there had to get me out before their superiors arrived to ask me questions. And they did. And i again paid the price after years of seizures and vomiting every morning and being treated like an addict in the ER. And when they asked why there were no scans from 2011 (the ones the officers denied i be treated for) i would attempt to explain. And be labeled an addict and crazy as well. When the truth was I was SEVERELY handicapped and gone without help that i desperately needed and had only told THE TRUTH. THATS ALL IVE DONE AND COMMITTED NONE OF THE CRIMES I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO GET ANNULEED FOR the past five years that every prosecutor has denied as a result of their being threatened by the state for doing otherwise. 

Knowing how easily I can bring it back to what happened. I don’t plan to unless i am forced to. Unless i am threatened and I will not live my life that way. So if i am left alone, i can safely move forward.

I want to MOVE FORWARD NOT BACK but giving me no option to Move forward propels me towards the exacts thoughts and actions of the past that will come to sabotagE

them as allowing me to be free from false charges would be. I am not Lomé you people . I have not and will not pursue charges. But I will if th is continues. And credible or not? I have someone who very much is who will fight for me hard. So if you want to take that chance? Take the rest of Mine. OTHERWISE, please annul my record of false charges which have ruined my life and the former misconduct which destroyed my brain and health.

KC ARMSTRONG AND MILLIONS OTHERS DIDN’T THINK SO

And the evidence shows it lacks no merit at all but given the chance to show the evidence you never ask for? You’d have All the God damn MERIT YOU NEED AND YOU KNOW IT; addressed to state civil liberties division. I expect no one outside of DOJ or Ag to take action as they have intercepted in the past. Everyone else has only interest in covering up the malicious prosecutions AJD all their other misconduct

Here we are AGAIN

One plus one

EAUALS; my response to them….This is An odd response given ‘lacking merit’ means it has been shown not to be proven after due investigative processI just filed this complaint a few days ago…

Re: Response: Your Civil Rights Division Report – 82928-TLP from the Disability Rights Section

On Fri, Jul 23, 2021 at 1:52 PM <civilrightsreply@mail.civilrights.usdoj.gov> wrote:

Dear Paige Assmus,

You contacted the Department of Justice on June 29, 2021. After careful review of what you submitted, we have decided not to take any further action on your complaint.

What we did:

Team members from the Civil Rights Division reviewed the information you submitted. Based on our review, we have decided not to take any further action on your complaint. We receive several thousand reports of civil rights violations each year. We unfortunately do not have the resources to take direct action for every report.

Your report number was 82928-TLP.

What you can do:

We are not determining that your report lacks merit. Your issue may still be actionable by others – your state bar association or local legal aid office may be able to help.

To find a local office:

American Bar Association
www.findlegalhelp.org
(800) 285-2221

Legal Service Corporation (or Legal Aid Offices)
www.lsc.gov/find-legal-aid
(202) 295-1500

How you have helped:

While we don’t have the capacity to take on each individual report, your report can help us find issues affecting multiple people or communities. It also helps us understand emerging trends and topics.

Thank you for taking the time to contact the Department of Justice about your concerns. We regret we are not able to provide more help on this matter.

Sincerely,

U.S. Department of Justice
Civil Rights Division

How surprised am I?

Not

Given recent changes even the DOJ now often sides with government only . Also I can’t recall what I this time reported . I will review.

Re: Response: Your Civil Rights Division Report – 82928-TLP from the Disability Rights Section

On Fri, Jul 23, 2021 at 1:52 PM <civilrightsreply@mail.civilrights.usdoj.gov> wrote:

Dear Paige Assmus,

You contacted the Department of Justice on June 29, 2021. After careful review of what you submitted, we have decided not to take any further action on your complaint.

What we did:

Team members from the Civil Rights Division reviewed the information you submitted. Based on our review, we have decided not to take any further action on your complaint. We receive several thousand reports of civil rights violations each year. We unfortunately do not have the resources to take direct action for every report.

Your report number was 82928-TLP.

What you can do:

We are not determining that your report lacks merit. Your issue may still be actionable by others – your state bar association or local legal aid office may be able to help.

To find a local office:

American Bar Association
www.findlegalhelp.org
(800) 285-2221

Legal Service Corporation (or Legal Aid Offices)
www.lsc.gov/find-legal-aid
(202) 295-1500

How you have helped:

While we don’t have the capacity to take on each individual report, your report can help us find issues affecting multiple people or communities. It also helps us understand emerging trends and topics.

Thank you for taking the time to contact the Department of Justice about your concerns. We regret we are not able to provide more help on this matter.

Sincerely,

U.S. Department of Justice
Civil Rights Division

Again I Am not one to sit and blame but I also can not and will not take accountability for behavior I have NO ASSOCIATION WITH

Again I Am not one to sit and blame but I also can not and will not take accountability for behavior I have NO ASSOCIATION WITH

http://julieassmustheword.com/2020/01/09/again-i-am-not-one-to-sit-and-blame-but-i-also-can-not-and-will-not-take-accountability-for-behavior-i-have-no-association-with/
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